How to do the one thing that scares you

Photo by Michael Heise on Unsplash

We all have worries and fears and we often cope with these emotions by avoiding something that triggers them. But what if we faced up to something that really scares us? What might that feel like? Why should we bother? Are there even any benefits? Surely, it’s better to keep away from the things that frighten us? 

Why do we experience fear?

Fear has an important purpose. It tells us when something is wrong and thus keeps us safe. But fear can sometimes trick us too, making us believe that we are unsafe when the reality is far from the truth. We can sometimes manifest those fears that deceive us, like the fear of failure or the fear of being judged. These are very valid feelings but sometimes prevent us from trying something new.

Get out of your comfort zone

Variety is the spice of life, right? What if we listened to that tiny voice called fear every time we wanted to try something new; a holiday destination, an exotic dish, a new friendship? We would lead very dull lives indeed. 

Getting out of our comfort zone can be challenging and we can struggle to get past that initial block that tells us it’s a terrible idea. Why not buddy up with someone? A friend, partner or family member can really help to give the little nudge needed to take that first step into the unknown.

Talking through our fear with someone can really help. It might aid us in rationalising it. We may even find our confidants have the same fear as us, making us feel like we are not alone.These little strategies can help us get out of our comfort zones and do something that really scares us! Which can only help us in leading a more varied and fulfilled life.

Welcome the fear

The feedback system in our brain works to ensure we avoid things that make us anxious. Every time we avoid something we fear, that avoidance tells the brain that the scary thing really is unsafe for us. As a result, when we are faced with that trigger again, the brain can cause us to feel even more anxious. We’re then faced with a vicious cycle of avoidance and a growing fear of something that may not actually be dangerous.

Sitting with our fear and accepting it as a valid emotion can help us rationalise it and move forward. Fear can be sometimes considered as a “negative” emotion because we don’t like feeling it. However we can look at fear in a different way - as an equal emotion to happiness or excitement. We can welcome it into our collection of emotions, taking time to reason and hopefully lessen its intimidation.

I find that a little patience and acceptance of my fear allows me to push forward and get to a point where I am comfortable with the thing I’m afraid of. If I allowed my fear to take over every time, I would never leave the house! Welcoming our fear is actually a great way to get past it!

Consider the worst…and the best.

Having suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember, I have tried all sorts of things to manage it. I find that stopping for a moment and assessing a situation can help me rationalise my fear and anxiety. I start by thinking of all the possible outcomes and then comparing them to an absolutely disastrous scenario. 

For example: “I don’t want to walk into this room of people I don’t know, I fear they might judge me…. What’s the worst that could happen? They could judge me…. Will I be in any serious harm? No.” Having this thought process helps me rationalise my fear and accept that, yes, I am afraid and that’s OK. However, I can still continue even with the fear and eventually it dissolves. 

As well as thinking through the “worst case scenario,” I find that considering a “best case scenario” is extremely beneficial. It helps to shine a light on all the wondrous possibilities that come with trying something new, when the initial fear is blinding me.

Do the ‘something’ that scares you

It’s a challenge and it can be daunting, but doing the one thing that scares you, once you know in your heart of hearts that you won’t be harmed in any way, can really benefit us as people and help us grow.

Breaking that fear and avoidance loop can give us the confidence to cope with anything that may come our way - as well as boosting our self-esteem. Who knows, you may meet a life-long friend or partner by getting out of your comfort zone? You might land yourself a job offer or a travel opportunity. The possibilities are endless. 

Nerves, anxiety and fear can be a great catalyst to productivity. Have you ever had a deadline approach only to work your hardest and best to get something over the line? We can channel our negative emotions into something productive and positive. Doing the ‘something’ that scares us helps us look fear in the face and say, “thanks for keeping me safe, but I won’t let you trick me!”