How can helping others make a difference?

Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash

“If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.” - Chinese Proverb

There is something disarmingly simple about this message. Do we perhaps overcomplicate things? Luckily for us science offers the same solution, the most effective way to help ourselves is simply go out and help other people. 

A recent survey conducted by the Psychological Institute found that 92% of people are physically healthier and more enriched in their lives as a result of helping others. People who carried out random acts of kindness in their day are significantly happier people. It concludes that when one can move out of oneself and help another, the result is an improved sense of well-being, lower stress levels and more consistent happiness.

We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give

Recently I volunteered to help out at the Festival for St. Patrick’s week in March. There were lots of different events from open-air concerts to media gatherings, marching in the parade, crowd control, hosting the VIP lounge, and operating the different grandstands in the city.

I was surprised to realise at the first meeting that only four of us were of Irish nationality. The other volunteers hailed from China, Tibet, Poland, Russia, Spain and France.  

The experience of volunteering put me directly at the centre of the event. In my case, I was helping to host the media. This meant I became immersed from the outset in everything to do with the activity whether it was meeting the President and VIPs and ensuring their safety and comfort from the position of the grandstand to operating the media buses and making sure that they were able to broadcast the activities. 

It was enriching, rewarding and a thoroughly satisfying way of engaging first-hand with the event. All my experiences in volunteering have been similar. The nature of the experience has been to thrust you into the centre of the activity and get involved and help out and it ends up exciting. Not to mind the interesting people you encounter along the way.

Small things count

When helping out we might be tempted to think that only the big action matters that small thing don’t count. This is false. 

Recently while at Mass in my parish church, the priest mentioned the small efforts on the part of the community to furnish a house and stock it for a family who have recently arrived from the Ukraine. The tone of the priest was full of pride and satisfaction at a job well done and a project that brought the community together in a positive and constructive way. Clearly, the community were very happy with their concerted efforts. 

Sometimes presence is more important than what we ‘do.’ 

Take for example the situation of death and grief in a family and the support and succour offered by neighbours who simply arrive with a cake, a meal or an appropriate word of comfort or an offer of help. 

Not big. Not dramatic. But real, reassuring, and helpful. 

Small hidden help is what counts. Often the small unnoticed obscure help can be much more valuable than ostentatious displays of assistance and support that sometimes in reality are an opportunity for the giver to ‘shine’ out and be appreciated.

What stops us from helping

A little self-reflection and we could come up with a list including laziness, self-love, the lack of gratitude, not being thanked - all stop us from helping others. The fact that others may see it as their ‘due’ to be helped or take us for granted can also stop us from helping and contributing as we can and possibly should. 

However, the benefits are …

Numerous. 

Mahatma Gandhi once said that the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in helping others. That act of helping furnishes us with a better connection with others. It can imbue our lives with a richer sense of meaning and purpose when we move out beyond the ego and give of our time and talents to serve other people, bail them out, chip in or get involved or offer someone a start or do a good turn.

David Brooks a columnist and cultural advisor with the New York Times asks: 

Am I looking outward to see how I may be used to provide meaning and value to those around me through my vocation and service? 

There is a lot of evidence that one of the best anti-anxiety medications available is generosity. Adam Grant, the author of ‘Give and Take’ and a psychologist at Wharton, affirms that the “great thing about showing up for other people is that it doesn’t have to cost a whole lot, and it ends up being beneficial to the giver.”

Helping can give us a break, help us forget our problems and think more about others.