Influencers in my life

Photo by Mathilde Langevin on Unsplash

“I hold that a strongly marked personality can influence descendants for generations.” - Beatrix Potter 

Why am I influenced by other people?

In my teens, a close relative made an honest observation about my personality, I am easily influenced. It never occurred to me until then, but my likes, dislikes, moods and general behaviours were moulded into shape by the people around me.  It wasn’t until my late 20s that I realised one of the possible reasons for why I was more of a follower than a leader: I am empathetic. I absorb all emotions, good or bad, that are floating around me. If I see someone hurt themselves, I can feel pain in that area on my own body.  On the plus side, if I’m feeling low and find myself in the company of someone in great form, my mood lifts without even trying.

Since my teens I have always thought it bad to be influenced by other people. However everyone is influenced to some degree, we are a social species after all. We can’t all be leaders. and I am definitely not one.  

Family

There have been many people who have shaped me throughout my life. 

The first people who spring to mind are my parents. I am an only child.  I always tried to choose the right path knowing that everything depended on me. In my early twenties pushing out the boundaries enabled me to realise that I did not want to disappoint them, and so I changed my ways. 

Letting my parents down was not something I enjoyed, and today when making any decision I always think, ‘What would they want?’ Or ‘What would they think about this?’ This leads me to get their advice on things as simple as how to roast a chicken, or areas to do with my career.

For me, family has been a large part of my life whether its cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, they have all shaped me in different ways over the years and they continue to do so daily.  I look to my extended family,  my cousins, to get their take on a given situation. 

Friends

I often ask myself, “Where would I be without my friends?”. 

Friends have played a huge part in making me the person I am today. They have influenced how I behave in areas such as parenting, job seeking, making challenging decisions in life.  I am lucky to have a wide pool of friends with different backgrounds, professions, interests, hobbies to dip into. 

This variety has shaped me in a unique way.

Teachers

Music is one of my passions in life. 

I have had many music teachers who enabled me to master my craft and channel my passion into real talent through encouragement and constructive criticism.

I joined the local choir when I was 7 years old. My aim was to sing in the National Concert Hall. With the help of the conductor who pushed and motivated me I succeeded. 

Similarly, my piano teacher pushed me to work hard and do well in my exams and this galvanised me to become my best in playing that instrument.

Do I influence others?

I would like to think that I have and will continue to influence other people in a quiet and subtle manner. 

As a parent, I am aware of the enormous influence I can have on my children and this can be a bit daunting at times. I want to influence my children in a positive way and guide them through life as well as I can.

Needless to say, my children have helped and influenced me in different ways.  I used to be a bit chaotic and unpredictable in ways, but with the advent of children, I am now much less uptight and capable of going with the flow better.

Throughout my life I have been influenced by many people, these are just a few examples.

Even people who have influenced me in a negative way have taught me many life lessons. 

We never stop being shaped by others. It is something that continues throughout our lives as we forge new relationships and preserve the existing ones.