Isolation: how to regain a sense of purpose?
Photo by David Solce on Unsplash
We could all ask ourselves the following questions: As we start to engage again in social interaction, do we need to regain a sense of purpose?
Or, on the other hand, has the whole experience of being isolated from my everyday life and friends generated a renewed and richer sense of purpose in my life?
Over the last few months of Lockdown, we have all had lots of time to walk along quieter roads, to look up at clear blue skies, and breathe in fresh, pure air. We may have had a lot of time to reflect on our lives- our choices, our future plans, even our values and priorities.
And now lies the challenge to look at this time squarely in the face and see have I changed? For better? Or worse? Because we can get worse, or better depending on how we choose to act. I can recall an incident in school one day just after teaching a class of senior students. One girl casually asked me as she was leaving the room why I was in a bad mood. Initially, I was a bit stunned, as I had not realised until then that yes, I had been in a bad mood when the class started. Sometimes we are so stressed or focused on what we have to do that we do not notice how we come across to others. People can call us out on our behaviours which can be an opportunity to confront ourselves with the questions as to what better me would look like. It was a helpful reminder to me that social interactions can be a good barometer of our emotional state.
A few weeks ago, my Dad passed away. He had reached a good age- all of 98 years. When I looked at him laid out in the coffin, I immediately felt sorry that I hadn’t thanked him for so many things- for being a good Dad, for all the kind things he had done over the years. Even though I had spent a lot of time with him over the last few years, there were oceans of things I would have liked to say to him. It hit me forcibly then that people matter more than things. Things will always be there. But people won’t. And people- the people in our life matter very much.
Don’t wait until it is too late to tell those people that you love them, and that you are grateful for all they have done for you. Affirm them. Love them. Learn from them. Be grateful for the wonderful times you have had with them.
Gratitude is a precious gift. Grateful people are happy people.
Recently I saw a poster with the caption ‘Interrupt Anxiety with Gratitude. Gratitude is wine for the soul. Go on, get drunk.’
Foster a sense of gratitude more. Sometimes we forget that there are many good people in the world, especially when news focusses more readily on the negative aspects of our lives. Subsequently I am much more aware now of the people who collect the garbage every week. Those silent, hidden souls who have made it possible for us to have a cleaner and safer environment.
Let’s be more grateful for all the small things that go to make up our life. We only have to look around us to realise that there are a lot of other people who are in much worse situations than we are. Van Gogh reminds us that
“Great things depend on a series of small things brought together.”
It is a sound motto to adopt as we begin a new chapter of our lives over the next few weeks.
One practical step could be to get a small notebook and jot down the insights and inspirations that we have seen during this time. Before the rush and thrust of life impose its force and erase any lights we may have seen, let’s absorb the lessons we have learned and try to put them into practise.
Even just to take a look at the levels of resilience we have built up over the months. The ability to stay in one fairly confined space and forfeit immediate pleasures such as travelling where we like, meeting with friends who console and comfort us, indulge in the joys of retail therapy. The challenge to be patient and kind with difficult and irate people. The ability to control fear and anxiety about the future. All of these are familiar experiences that we each have had to face in varying degrees.
And we can have no doubt but that all this has wrought a change within us.
Leaving isolation doesn’t mean we will leave our manias and our defects behind us. But we can use the time right now to extract some valuable and rich lessons from that experience. Especially from the rough and tough times.
Now is the time to re-frame all the crises, the mistakes, the bad reactions, the not so nice things we have seen about ourselves. Now is the time to decide to change a little for the better- to be kinder, more patient, more loving.
It is never too late.
We can start today.
