What does real beauty mean to you?

Photo by Ellieelien on Unsplash

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others. For beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness.”

- Audrey Hepburn

What beauty means to me… 

In my mind, I divide beauty up into two types: visible and invisible. Visible beauty is the obvious one. A physically attractive person, an ornate building, a person’s movement or dance, the colours and shapes of the natural world, an exquisitely decorated room.

Invisible beauty is less apparent, and can take the form of kind words or gestures, life stories, experiences or even a good book.

When I was thinking about writing this blog post, I immediately came to the conclusion that invisible beauty is more important to me than the visible type. 

However, as I delved deeper into the topic, I discovered that, in my opinion, they are both as important as each other, and have positive effects on me in different ways.

Not only do I think beauty can be visible and invisible, I also think it is subjective. What I find beautiful, another person may not. I see beauty in many things, even things that are “ugly” to some, for example, beetles. I am fascinated by beetles and am genuinely of the opinion that they are beautiful. Some people may not agree. And that’s OK. 

Social media

Although I believe physical beauty has its place in the world, I’m not so sure about the “beauty” we see on social media.

I think it’s fair to say much of it is fake, and unattainable in the real world.

How long does it take to get the perfect selfie? 

What do celebrities do? How much money do they spend? How big a team of professionals do they have so they can look good on Instagram?

Let’s face it, we aren’t going to post a picture of ourselves looking less than our best, so people only post the perfect pictures, not the hundred less-than-perfect ones.

With all of this “out-of-reach” beauty we see on social media, people can sometimes change themselves so much, in order to look like the pictures that they see online. 

I would like to ask, is becoming beautiful all about changing yourself completely? And why do people feel the need to change themselves so much? 

“Look at the women around you and how beautiful they are in their own way, not confined to a square on a screen with controlled lighting”, such a wonderful truth from Daniela Morosinin, (blogger with refinery 29.com)

Growing up, I didn’t have social media. I consider myself lucky in this respect. When I think of my teenage self, like most people, I cringe at how I was, and I am glad that image has not been immortalised on Facebook. 

That said, I also had a very linear idea of what beauty actually is because my world was so small. 

Nowadays, when I scroll through Instagram I see so many different types of beauty; a wide range of people, fashion, architecture and food. 

Compared to the past, social media has exposed all different kinds of beauty, and I think this has been a positive thing, so it has some benefits.  

The beauty of scars 

There are many things I feel represent real beauty. One of the things I admire is the state of pregnancy. 

I have to admit, selfishly, that I didn’t give this much thought before I found myself experiencing it first-hand. I never really saw the beauty in it until it happened to me. Growing up, I suffered from eczema, a skin condition which left me with itchy, dry, red patches all over my skin. Not only did I suffer from eczema, but I also suffered (and still do) from keloid scarring; my skin does not heal very well and even the smallest nicks leave thick, lumpy scars. As a result, I am covered in lumps and bumps which I imagine astronauts can see from space (the reality is probably very different!). 

My intense dislike for my skin and its scars was galvanised four years ago when my first daughter was delivered by c-section. So deep were my insecurities, that I couldn’t look at my c-section scar for a number of weeks. Although it got easier, this insecurity stayed with me for another three years before I came to realise that, even though I couldn’t see physical beauty in that mark, it represented something beautiful. 

This analogy helped me overcome whatever hang ups I had about not only this scar, but all of my scars. 

For me, every scar has a certain beauty. They may not be nice to look at, but they are usually the result of a life-experience. The experience itself may not be beautiful either, but overcoming it certainly is. 

Motherhood

Motherhood also holds a real beauty for me (although I think all mothers will agree that most of the time it’s not so beautiful!). Like all the other challenges we tackle in life, being a parent is a great achievement, particularly in these times of uncertainty and lack of routine.

I believe that the challenge of motherhood itself is the beautiful part, not just the nice moments we treasure with our children. It’s probably safe to say that every parent sees beauty in their kids. Not just the visible beauty; their smile, their eyes, their chubby little hands, but also in their kind words and gestures, their little quirks and their overall personalities. 

All of these things together make motherhood beautiful in my eyes, regardless of how difficult it might be at times.

Another real beauty I like to behold is that of the natural world. From the tree in your back garden to a tiger roaming the jungles of Asia, everything in the natural world has its own unique beauty. 

So, what does real beauty mean to you? Is it Beauty Real or Fake?       

Some food for thought...

What about “The Emperor’s New Clothes?” Is something beautiful because everyone says it is, and nobody is confident enough to disagree for fear of looking foolish? 

The beauty that is shown on social media is orchestrated and out of context, a form of fake beauty.

The beauty of parenthood is very real even with all its challenges and hardships.

True beauty is very real.