Recently on a work trip to London, I took advantage of the opportunity to visit The National Gallery. One painting which took me by surprise was one by an artist I’d not heard of before, Annibale Carracci. In his painting ‘Domine, quo vadis?,’ he depicts Peter the Apostle as appearing stunned when he sees Christ walk past him with great vigour, carrying the cross.

It’s a simple yet powerful moment, with vivid expression captured in the face and body language of Peter. Christ is moving forward in a determined direction, yet Peter has a shocked expression and looks hesitant. It appears as though Peter wasn’t even anticipating meeting the Lord! His expression is that of one being caught off guard, and the painting gives the impression Peter was eagerly walking in a completely different direction to Christ.

What can this painting teach us?

Two things struck me in this painting. First is that of the figure Christ. He stands firm and sure in the direction He is going. The painting itself is said to depict a legend of the Church where Peter was fleeing Rome because of the persecution and murder of the early Christians. Yet, it is while he is trying to make his way towards safety that he encounters Jesus Christ. The legend states that he is said to have asked Jesus, ‘where are you going?’ To which Jesus replies that He is going to Rome to be crucified for a second time. I interpreted this as the Lord saying to him ‘I don’t know about you Peter but I’m going to go get crucified again. Will you help me?’ 

Peter’s mission for the Church

Peter had been tasked by the Lord with a crucial mission. As the first Pope and head of the Church, he was to show the world who Christ is, to evangelise and bring Christ’s love to all. Peter is a man who knew Jesus intimately.  He spent much time in his company and it was he who identified Jesus as the ‘Messiah,’ the one who had come to save us. It was also Peter, who despite knowing Jesus intimately, denied him three times in one night at the most crucial hour. It’s Peter who experienced the divine mercy and love of Jesus when he was forgiven for his failings; what was asked of him in return was to love Jesus, feed his sheep and lead his flock. 

Despite the intimacy Peter shared with Jesus, he still faltered and failed. Peter saw first hand that Jesus conquered sin and conquered death. But despite this, Peter, in a very human way, also experienced fear that so many of us can feel. He saw first hand the sheer brutality of the Romans in their persecution of the early Christians. We see that in this moment Peter experienced the physiological phenomenon of ‘fight’ or 'flight’ mode. Peter knew he couldn’t take on the whole Roman army on his own so understandably he chose ‘flight’ mode and for a moment forgot Who he needed to place his trust in.

It’s apt then that it is precisely in this moment, when he is fleeing out of fear, that Jesus meets him. He reminds Peter when he appears to have faltered that he has a role to fulfil. He reminds him of what his mission is. In this scene Jesus informs Peter that He is willing to die all over again, enduring the horror of the crucifixion so that people may be saved. He is reminding Peter of his great task to help with this mission, when he appears to have forgotten it.

The reality of Christian persecution

In today’s world, many of us don’t know what it’s like to be persecuted. But this painting points to a stark reality of our time. Persecution is a reality for millions of Catholics. This year tensions were high in the Middle East as Ramadan, Passover and Easter all happened at the same time, with the BBC recently reporting that now less than 2% of Christians remain in Jerusalem. It’s reported many of them don’t feel safe there anymore. Throughout the world many people are persecuted and killed each year due to their Christian faith, and it is a particularly horrific reality for many countries in the African continent. 

In the western hemisphere violent persecution may not be what we face. However, each of us is given a mission and a cross to carry. We will each have our ups and downs and are called every day to walk with Christ. Sometimes it’s difficult and we feel completely inadequate - much like Peter must have felt. Sometimes we falter and we get lost along the way. Yet, Christ comes into our lives to remind us he is ready to die all over again and is asking us to come with him.

What is God asking of us?

We may not be facing the prospect of a violent death but it may be that Christ is asking us to forgive that family member who has hurt us. Or to spend time with that ageing relative who tells the same story for what feels like the 100th time. Or He might be asking us to persevere with a difficult work relationship. He might be asking us to stop when we see someone homeless on the street to simply say hello and ask if they’d like something to eat. He may be asking us to forgo the latest fashion or gadget so we can give to someone who has less. He may simply be asking us to truly present when listening to a friend, even if it’s the worst time for us! Whatever it is, be assured He’s got a mission for all of us and to quote St. John Henry Newman, ‘I may not know it in this life but I’ll find out in the next.’ Each of us has a unique mission and opportunity to help carry the cross for Christ. 

The keys to the kingdom

Another aspect of this painting that I found intriguing, is that despite the fact Peter is fleeing Rome and appearing to abandon his mission, he still carries the keys to the kingdom with him. Even though he is faltering, Jesus doesn’t take this mission away from Peter but rather offers encouragement to him when he needs it. Jesus must have known all of Peter’s flaws, yet He still chose him to lead His church here on earth. Jesus continues to put tremendous trust in Peter, despite his many weaknesses. He doesn’t tell him that He’ll get someone better for the job! 

Similarly, Christ sees our failings and our difficulties with persevering when the going gets tough. However He puts tremendous trust in us. He gives Peter the keys to the kingdom despite the numerous times he has let him down! He continues to do the same for us. When we realise our faults, our failures and we acknowledge this before Him in the sacrament of confession, He forgives us and gives us the graces we need to continue on and carry out our mission. He loves us all though it all and continues to forgive us. No matter how many times we fail. 

What’s the lesson for us?

So what can we take away from this beautiful painting? We can be inspired to walk again after stumbling and continue to put one foot in front of the other, despite our weaknesses. We should also be mindful of those in our modern world who continue to suffer persecution for our faith. Let’s pray for our brothers and sisters who endure violence and offer up, even the small inconveniences, to help them as they carry Christ’s cross. 

From a practical perspective I challenge you, and especially myself, to pick one thing that we can do to help carry the cross for our Lord. Perhaps we can be a bit more patient with that friend or relative or co-worker who challenges us? Perhaps the next time we see someone without a home and living on the street we can stop to say hello and offer a warm drink? Or perhaps we can forgo a favourite small treat of our own to make a small donation to a charity which helps an important cause. Whatever small task we choose to take on, we know that in doing so we are actively choosing to help our Lord and He will, no doubt, make it clear what mission He has for us and how much we can trust Him to help.