Hearts + Minds

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Do you miss your work friends?

Photo by Andreea Tebanon Unsplash

One interesting question I have heard recently is whether 'working from home' has affected your relationships at work? 

For many people, the option to work from home was unavailable, or simply impossible - until of course the pandemic. Then there was no option but to work from home. 

Perhaps our colleagues were just people with whom we occasionally exchanged a few words about the weekend plans, or passed by with a polite smile in the corridor before our work situation and routine became disrupted.  Certainly working from home changed our relationships with our colleagues and made many of us realise how much we missed even the simplest of human interactions. 

Do you miss your friends?

Many of my friends missed the support and friendship of their colleagues. One of my friends told me about how her boss had been a mentor figure. How he had guided her through several high-profile meetings with various clients. And she told me that her professional relationship ‘online’ was not the same without the informal chats and opportunities to share different ideas and suggestions. 

I think we all agree that Zoom fatigue is a reality and that virtual interaction did become tiresome. However, we do need to rethink our connections with people at work. Because those connections can be pretty limited and even transactional. Perhaps Covid has reminded us of the need for these connections to become more meaningful. That we might even try to really connect with our work colleagues in their day-to-day needs.

Making friends in the workplace

When work becomes a place or a setting where working for and with others is facilitated, then it is easier for better relationships to flourish in the workplace.  In fact, in my experience, the workplace was where I have met some of my closest and dearest friends. 

Of course, we don't have to be best pals with everyone we work with and say “yes” to every invite for office drinks, but many times I have been glad that I made the effort and got to know people beyond the confines of the desk or office meeting room. 

There is the slightly more cynical and corporate advantage to developing ‘social capital’ at work. Some use people to climb the corporate ladder and are impressive networkers. But the very fact of social capital allows people to develop relationships that enhance the workplace and company culture.  However, nothing can beat genuine interaction and friendships with others; where people do their best for one another and are motivated to work together. 

For better or worse, we know that our workmates are people with whom we spend a significant amount of time. In fact, more time than with our families! At times we like to draw a line between our 'personal' and 'professional' lives, but we might also be lucky enough to connect with a workmate and form a friendship. 

Developing those connections with workmates, even without extra 'socialising', often makes a job or workplace more enjoyable.  Generally, young twenty year olds who are moving to an unfamiliar city for the first time in their first job, experience loneliness with no family or friends nearby. So work becomes the only place they can find friends and arrange social events. You never know who really needs your friendship until you at least try. 

We spend more time at work than … 

Let’s face it, the workplace is that setting where we spend a lot of time and energy and is a common ground that we share with others. 

Shouldn’t the workplace become more than a means of paying our bills?

Or more than just a chore?

Even if we don’t particularly enjoy our job or task, we can learn to appreciate and make the most out of our working week. Our work colleagues might even help us to develop a more balanced view of life.  As we return to our workplaces, maybe there's something that we can do to create a genuine culture of appreciation and kindness. 

Perhaps that new person who joined during lockdown, who still hasn't met anyone in person, is struggling to fit in. It might be time to re-jig the work environment or team dynamics, developing something more than that awkward smile in the corridor.

You always feel better when you make the effort and you cannot quantify how much it means to the person at the receiving end of your efforts.