Does your family need a mission statement?
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
January is without doubt the time of renewal and fresh starts. When we think of January we think of resolutions and plans, objective and goals. Most of us have an idea of the things we want to do, or the ways in which we want to better ourselves. Whether it’s a change in diet, a new fitness regime, or a new skill we want to acquire.
But what goals will we set for the most important thing of all? Our family life. There’s no doubt that any improvement we make to our own personal lives can a knock on effect on those around us and that’s also true in the opposite sense as well. The ways in which we improve our behaviour and attitude can make life much easier for those we live with.
What is a family mission statement?
It can be very easy for us to base our family life on the culture around us, letting circumstances dictate what kind of people we become. And because life is busy, it’s easy to see how that can happen. However, families who are truly effective know who they are and what values are important to them. If we want to raise children who are responsible, respectful and kind hearted, we need to create a family culture that intentionally promotes this. It won’t just happen by chance. A mission statement about who your family is and the values by which you want to live, allows you to do this.
How to create one?
Whatever values and beliefs that are important to you and your spouse are the things that will shape your family mission statement. But the first step to creating a family mission statement is getting all the family to sit down and answer the question, “what kind of family do we want to be?”
Getting everyone involved is important so that everyone feels ownership. Ask both yourselves and your children questions such as:
what’s important to us as a family?
what kind of relationship do we want to have with each other?
if we want to have a happy family how should each of us behave?
how should we treat each other?
You may have different questions or points to consider depending on your own family circumstances and dynamics. Allow the answers to these questions to help form a series of ‘we’ statements that everyone in the family can live by. Things like “we commit to being helpful and kind” or “we will always tell the truth” or “we will speak with gentle and loving words.”
More than just words
Like any goal or resolution, it’s important that a family mission statement is kept under review, otherwise it simply becomes another ‘activity’ that doesn’t really have any impact on the nuts and bolts of family life. However, if every so often, the whole family gets together to check in with how they feel the mission statement is being lived out in day to day life, it can help the whole family create a sense of purpose and identity thus shaping a positive family culture.
It’s also helpful in those moments of challenge or sibling bickering to have something concrete to refer to. When a row breaks out both my husband and I often find ourselves asking the children “ok, what do we do in this family?” It helps to bring quarrels to a positive resolution and encourages us all to be more magnanimous and ‘other’ centred. And it’s also important that as parents, we too are willing to be challenged when we fall short of the statement. Sometimes, the best thing our children can see from us is a humble admittance of a mistake and a struggle to be better.
Starting a family mission statement from scratch might require an initial time commitment but it’s worth it. Each year, you can adapt and change as your family develops but you’ll always have something concrete to build on and to come back to that is personal and unique to your family. A perfect way to make sure you are all on the same team at the beginning of this new year.
