When everyday people become unexpected heroes

Photo by Freepik

We are fortunate to live in a time when many of us are told we can achieve our dreams and shoot for the stars. Women succeeding on the world stage has been a news staple in the media this past summer; from ‘Swiftie fever’ taking the world by storm, to Simone Biles setting thrilling new world records at this year's Olympics - making a magnificent comeback.

It’s easy to get swept up in the hype that sometimes surrounds well known women living life in the public sphere. Whilst I admire many of the women who have paved a way for a better life through their engagement in the public sphere, I am always most impressed by those who embrace the quiet of ordinary life; there is a heroism in it.

What makes a person heroic?

I’m fortunate in my career to have worked with some incredibly inspiring individuals. From those who dedicated their lives to research, to brilliant professionals who appear to seamlessly blend a demanding work schedule with balancing a home life for their families. This determination and resilience takes heroic effort. I really admire these people and they inspire me to continue to do my best and strive to do the best work that I can. However, I can’t help but be most impressed by the ‘quiet’ people; those who live lives of selflessness and compassion away from the gaze of others. Their heroic virtue often goes unnoticed.

An unlikely hero

Some time ago I was in the middle of a very busy day at work. Everyone appeared to need something from me and I wondered when a break may come. In the middle of it all, I was informed a parent required our help accessing additional services for their child. Bracing myself for some sort of confrontation I was then surprised when I was greeted by what I can only describe as the most serene woman I had ever met. She had a calmness and kindness about her that was unique.

Beside her was her child with a severe disability. The child couldn’t speak or move and required significant care, which was physically demanding. This woman proceeded to inform me that she had come to us because she needed our assistance in seeking additional services required for her child’s evolving needs. I listened to her concerns and heard about her home life; she had no help and no support. Like many parents of children with additional needs in Ireland she was very much alone, with no one to truly shoulder the burden with her.

I felt immensely for her. Her life was a challenging one, caring for a child with profound additional needs. But when I heard her story I was in awe that she could maintain so much composure. After she had told me her difficult story I expected her to be understandably angry or exasperated or frustrated at or a combination of the above! Yet she concluded by telling me she was “so blessed.” She had a wonderful child whom she adored and she told me how fortunate she was to have such a good natured child. I was floored. 

Overcoming challenges and hardships

This lady had a life that was extremely difficult, with many obstacles to overcome. Yet she smiled and told me she was blessed. If I was in her shoes I know I would not have acted with such poise and grace! She truly astounded me. In the end we were able to offer what help we could and began the process of helping her access additional services. She went home, back to her life with its many challenges, to her life of being the main care-giver, her struggles largely unseen by the world. 

I don’t know if much has changed for her since then. However, I do know she made a huge impression on me. Even now, after a considerable amount of time has passed, there have been times out of the blue when she pops into my head and I can hear her say all over again “I am so blessed.” Those simple words remind me of my own lack of gratitude for all of the good things in my life. How often have I taken things for granted? How often do I let petty annoyances get the better of me? How often do I compare myself to others? 

Lessons from real life heroes

It’s easy to get lost in the busyness of everyday life. Sometimes we are so busy complaining about a job, worrying about moving up the next rung of the ladder or dreaming up our next escapism that we forget to stop and take in the view around us. We forget to acknowledge all of the good things that have happened. All the things we worried about a while ago that have not come to pass. Quite simply, we forget to count our blessings. I am still in awe of that serene and calm woman who disappeared into the ‘monotony’ of ordinary life with its many challenges. Yet there she is doing formidable work in the quietness of her everyday life, out of love for her child.

Perhaps in addition to the talent we observe in the public sphere, we can equally take inspiration from the example of everyday people, who display just as much poise, strength and tenacity. Real life heroes, doing the best they can, in the midst of life's challenges.